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PGHA: Kerry's Popularity

In a desperate move to increase his falling popularity, John Kerry tries to latch on to the video game craze…

Introducing:

Part 1
In this new first person shooter, you start as a young lieutenant on a Swiftboat in the jungles of Vietnam. Your adventures lead you up and down the rivers, (and possibly in and out of Cambodia) as you try to earn medals. Use the instant replay function to better document your heroics. Bonus points for atrocities committed by your crew. But remember, three purple hearts, and this part of your quest is over.

Part 2
Now you are back in the United States as a war protester. Here, you must weave in and out of protests and talks with possible enemies of the US without leaving any incriminating evidence of collusion. This level culminates with you throwing (or not) your medals over the Whitehouse fence.

Part 3
In this next exciting level, you are the Junior Senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Here, you must navigate the halls of Congress without becoming involved with any legislation that might hurt your re-election. Perfect the art of sitting on comities without ever actually being present. If you survive 19 years without ever being linked to any major piece of legislation, you can go on to…

Part 4
Now, you are a Presidential candidate. Here you must become the master of double talk. Learn to say whatever you think the group you are speaking to wants to hear. Run on your experiences of 30 years earlier, while dodging any criticism of those actions. Complain of your opponents digging up the past while never ceasing your own statements bringing up your own heroics in Vietnam.

Bonus Features
Use the Save Game Editor to alter earlier events. This allows you to change your story to suit your whims. You can use this as many times as you like, but remember, the original story can pop up when you least expect it.

The 527 add on can be very useful in the final level. But remember, once activated, it can be used by your opponents as well.

Wife Upgrade can be done when necessary, but make sure to pick the one with the highest property value.

Posted by GEBIV at September 15, 2004 09:01 PM