There's One, Only!

PGHA: More Bush Memos from CBS

In a press release made earlier this morning, CBS news has announced that it has come into the possession of more memos, which relate to President Bush’s past. These memos are said to prove, among other things:

* Bush lied about his age to get into the National Guard. He was really only 17.

* Bush once kicked a dog.

* Bush used two mulligans in one round of golf.

* Bush once dressed as a penguin for a Halloween party.

* Bush has only ONE left foot!

* Bush secretly paid McDonalds to increase the fat content of their burgers to give former President Clinton heart disease.

* Bush owns a 1970 Selectric typewriter.

* Bush can’t splel.

* Bush once ate the entire contents of a family size bag of Doritos while watching a rugby game while wearing a pink tutu.

* Bush’s real name is Hitler Wannabe.

* Bush secretly married thirteen different women in Florida to get their votes in the 2000 election.

* Bush owns a chalet in Aspen… Oops, that ones about Kerry.

* Bush once cheated in a game of chutes and ladders when he was 5 years old.

* Bush failed a pop-quiz in math in 5th grade.

* Bush never learned how to eat with chopsticks.

* Bush had smelly feet when he was in the National Guard.

* Bush used an endangered species of turtle to wax his father’s car when he was in High School.

* Bush had surgery to remove his horns.

* Same for his tail, too.

* Only a complete doofus, (as defined by the Liberal College Association of America) would vote for Bush.

All of this and more will be shown on the next installment of 60 Minutes. (Or as soon as they can get the latest batch of documents past their experts.)

(This public announcement was brought to you by the Alliance of the Free Bloggers.)
Instapundo Delenda Est!

Posted by GEBIV at September 22, 2004 07:35 PM