Here are my theories as to who John Kerry would appoint to a few various Cabinet posts:
Secretary of Defense: Kofi Annan. (That way you don’t have to waist time with the U.N. requesting U.S. troops for something. He can send them right away with no extra paperwork.)
Secretary of Transportation: Teddy Kennedy. (After all, who else knows the deplorable consequences of poor road and bridge maintenance.)
Secretary of Education: Michael Moore. (Hey this guy’s got propaganda down to a science. It won’t be too hard for him to come up with a nicely liberal education agenda.)
Attorney General: Bill Clinton. (Who else knows more about how people abuse the legal system; and when someone should be investigated.)
National Security Advisor: Jacque Chiraq. (Because France has obviously had a better idea of world events and terrorist threats than anyone else.)
Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton (Because then she only has to bump off four people to get to the White House. And really, any job that keeps her out of the country as much as possible is a good thing.)
Secretary of the Treasury: Teresa Heinz Kerry (Because she has so much money, she must know how it all works. And he really doesn’t want Hillary to be in charge of the Secret Service.)
Secretary of Homeland Security: Dan Rather (Because terrorism should be a nuisance, and no one knows more about being a nuisance than Dan Rather.)
That's good. That's really good.
That's right up there with the Starbucks On-star posts.
Posted by: Tammi at October 20, 2004 07:07 PM