There's One, Only!

PGHA: Legacy Media Lies

Weather they use outright lies, or merely distortions, the Mainstream, or as Harvey likes to call them, Legacy Media are always going to try to influence the way people think, or interpret events. So the question was put forth at the Alliance Headquarters, “What exaggerations, distortions or outright lies will the Legacy Media promulgate as fact in the closing days of 2004?”

At first, I though about making something up. But that seemed like too much work. So instead, in true procrastinator spirit, I decided to put it off indefinitely.

What I’ll do instead is wait until someone invents a time machine that hooks into my e-mail. Once that happens, I’ll just e-mail myself a list of the lies that the media comes up with for the end of 2004.

It’s that simple!

UPDATE: Wow, that was fast! I just got the e-mail from myself. Here it is:

Hey GEBIV,

It’s me, GEBIV from the future. I can’t tell me how far from the future (we don’t want to change history too much) but here is that list of biased and completely misleading headlines that I wanted me to get for myself.

Media Lies

12/20: Coalition Forces in Iraq completely bogged down.
Two tanks get stuck in a swamp after a flash flood on the outskirts of Baghdad.

12/24: Santa warned not to come to Iraq.
Flippant remark by an Army Specialist about how “…our anti-aircraft radar could pick off Saint Nick from a hundred miles out.” panics small children across America.

12/25: American Troops found smuggling contraband.
Two GI’s are accused by Baghdad Imams of illegal possession of Christmas Carol music.

12/27: Troop morale at all time low.
A small article about post-holiday depression gets blown all out of proportion.

12/28: President accused of covering up bad economic figures.
During a meeting with his accountant, President Bush photographed after he accidentally sets his coffee cup on top of a stack of receipts and is accused of trying to “hide something.”

12/29: Bush says: THE END IS NEAR!!!!
Just a direct miss-quote of the President remarking how close it is to the end of the year.

12/30: Blogging bad for your health!
An article based on the misleading statistic that more bloggers than non-bloggers (ie. people without opinions) get in fist fights at political conventions.

12/31: Pentagon says: NO END IN SIGHT FOR IRAQ WAR!
Another direct miss-quote of a Pentagon Official. When he was asked if the war would end this year, he sarcastically replied that there was “no way that the war would be over this year.” The reporter didn’t realize that December had 31 days and assumed that the official was speaking of 2005.

That’s all that I was able to find for me. I’m pretty sure that that was what I wanted, but a lot of the end of 2004 is still a little fuzzy for me. Oh, that reminds me, that isn’t guacamole in the fridge (the doctor said that it was probably really old chili).

And to heck with history! Even though I don’t remember winning the lottery, here’s the winning lotto numbers for 12/1/04: &al;aweirb awie^(***;jkah;sdf ;aln;afjn; fan ;sd/wejb aas;dlkfnsadf…

Just great. The e-mail got corrupted. I just hope I haven’t introduced some sort of future super-virus to the HOIojasd;I a;sdifja e,dfa

Posted by GEBIV at December 1, 2004 04:31 PM