December 21, 2004

Thoughts on living as a bachelor

Just some random thoughts on what itís like to live as a bachelor:

I can drink straight from the bottle. And Iím not talking about beer, but the big Pepsi two and three liter bottles. Saves all sorts of time from having to find a glass, clean said glass, and all of that annoying pouring. I can drink out of milk cartons as well. But a word of advice; only if itís fresh from the store. If you donít remember when you bought it, use a glass. This allows you to check for the beginnings of cheese.

The remote is mine, all mine! I decide what to watch, when to watch, and within reason (the landlords donít have the greatest hearing) how loud to watch it. And since as I guy, I have been know to watch up to three programs at the same time, I donít have to listen to anyone complain about the constant channel changes.

The seat stays up. If I need to sit down, then I put the seat down. Otherwise, the lid is in the up and ready position for whenever I need it. And thatís the way it will stay.

Flatulence is never a problem either. Not that it doesnít happen. Itís just that with no one to complain about it aroma, volume and frequency are never an issue.

I toss and turn at night, so itís probably a good thing that Iím not married. If I were, Iím sure my wife would be able to file spousal abuse charges based on the bruises from my random limb movements. Of course, being single means that the covers are all mine too. (Although Iím not sure if that is really a good trade off.)

The thermostat is where I want it. I donít have anyone constantly complaining that itís too hot (almost never) or cold (much more likely). If Iím cold, my standard solution is to just put a little more clothing on. And not because Iím too cheap to pay the heating bill, I just like it a little colder than most.

Well, thatís the list I usually go over whenever I have to convince myself that Iím not really that lonely.

Update: I forgot to mention my banjo. The advantages to being a bachelor banjo player should be pretty self explanitory. And yes, the banjo, more than anything else, may explain the continuation of my bachelor status.

Posted by GEBIV at December 21, 2004 08:09 PM

Hmmm, I'm married and have most of the benefits you are talking about. (I get my own bottles so I don't have to share). My wife likes most of the same shows I do or she's playing computer games/sewing/baking while I'm watching TV. I sleep on top of the covers, and my wife likes to wrap herself up in them, perfect trade off.

However, I do have to check in if I'm going to be out late, or not come straight home from work. But then again when I get home from the Strip Clubs she's usually there to help me out. :) Plus She does all the crappy housework I hate to do, like clean.

Posted by: Contagion at December 21, 2004 10:16 PM

Shut up. You're not helping. :-P

Posted by: GEBIV at December 21, 2004 10:23 PM

There are times I miss the freedom of bachelorhood.

Especially the freedom from tiny, size 5 feet-shaped blocks of ice being planted against my previously warm calves :-/

Posted by: Harvey at December 22, 2004 11:09 AM

On the flatulance never being a problem in bacholorhood, you just haven't met the right women yet to appreciate flatulance in couplehood.

Really. It's much more of an adventure in couplehood. ;)

Posted by: Machelle at December 24, 2004 07:51 PM
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