Donald Rumsfeld just got back from his trip in Afghanistan. But what was he really there for? What did Rumsfeld do while he was in Afghanistan? This is the question posed by the Alliance this last week.
So here is some Incredibly Inane Information about Rumsfeld's trip to Afghanistan.
* Rumsfeld heard that the Afghanistan women are really hot once they take off those burnus biernoo bornous ...robes.
* Unfortunately, he's competing with Marines.
* Yeah, that means no one for me either.
* He was checking up on the Top Secret Laboratory the US Army built there for him.
* They're still in the early stages of Mad Science work, so he has to check on them a lot.
* Last time, the clone they made of him was only 1/4th size.
* On the plus side, this did inspire the Minnie Me character from Austin Powers.
* The royalties from that are paying for most of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
* Sometimes he just needs to go where everyone knows his name.
* Oh, wait. That's Cheers.
* In Afghanistan, most people worship him.
* He goes there to collect the offerings.
* And to do a little smiting.
* Ever since the time he scared Barney with his banjo, Afghanistan is the only place anyone will let him practice.
* Provided he stays in one of the really deep caves.
* And only plays during mortar attacks.
* There's also a little restaurant in a tiny village in southern Afghanistan where they serve the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.
* Rumsfeld is just crazy about chocolate chip cookies.
* Actually, the story is that he meant to go to Jamaica, but got on the wrong plane.
* Someone sent him to the wrong terminal.
* Stupid travel agent.
* No souvenirs for him.
* Afghanistan souvenirs are worthless anyways.
* After all, once you've seen one rock, you've pretty much seen them all.
* Except for diamonds. Those are just pretty. Ooh... shiny.
* The most realistic reason, Rumsfeld went to Afghanistan just so he didn't have to deal with the MSM for a little while. (Down side: they don't have cable over there yet, so no FOX News either)
Posted by GEBIV at April 20, 2005 08:07 PM