There's One, Only!

Hero Not Considered For The Papacy!

Just a warning. This may sound like a real-ish story, but it is a joke. A really bad joke. Put down your drinks, because it may be the most awful joke you will ever read. (I can't claim authorship of this, I found it on a jokes newsgroup.)

You've been warned...

Hero Not Considered For The Papacy!

Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a
young man, aspired to become a priest. However, he was drafted into the
Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his
aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm.

Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving
spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy. After the war, he
became a priest and then a bishop, serving as a missionary in Africa,
piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across
the continent. In 1997, after being consecrated as an archbishop, he
was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a
cave-in.

Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rites to
those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was
buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss
of his right eye.

The high silver content in the mine's air gave him purpura, a life-long
condition characterized by purplish skin botches.

Although now-Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as
a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never
ascend to the Papacy. No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple
Papal leader!

-Clothahump