May 20, 2005

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn vs. Huffington

After reading what Harvey had said about Evil Glenn appearing on television opposite Arianna Huffington, I had to watch the video. And while viewing it, I couldn't help but get the same feeling that Harvey had. That Evil Glenn was going to be giving the Huffster the biggest smack down the net had ever seen.

But the question is, what will Evil Glenn do about Arianna Huffington and the Huffington Post?

Since I felt that on this issue, Evil Glenn and I would be in some form of agreement, (Huffington should be destroyed) I decided to go right to the source. So, steeling myself, I called the Puppy Blender.

*ring* *ring* *ring*

Evil Glenn: Hello, GEBIV.

Me: How did you know it was me?

Evil Glenn: Caller I.D. you twit.

Me: Oh, yeah. Anyways, the reason I called was-

Evil Glenn: To find out how I'm going to get Huffington and her Huffington Post.

Me: Wha...! How did you know that?

Evil Glenn: Mwa ha ha ha! I know everything!

Me: Even about the...

Evil Glenn: Yes.

Me: ... *shudder*

Evil Glenn: So, do you what to know what I'm going to do to her?

Me: All right. What's your diabolical plan?

Evil Glenn: Well, it's a multiple layered plan. My first step was to ignore her. I was hoping that the vile site would just wither on the vine and die. But since the "big media" was giving her so much publicity, that wasn't going to happen. However, by not wasting any of my time on her, she will be forced to use up all of her favors from the Main Stream Media just to get started. Once that happens, I'll move to stage two.

Me: What is that?

Evil Glenn: I Installanche her!

Me: Isn't that good?

Evil Glenn: Only if her servers can handle it. With Instapundit linking to every post and driving the traffic up, she'll be lucky if each page loads in less than half an hour. Then, with her bandwidth all used up, she will have to pay for more.

Me: Yeah, but won't that mean that she'll get more advertisers?

Evil Glenn: *chuckle* Yes it does.

Me: You make that sound like you want it to happen.

Evil Glenn: Oh, I do. Then, once she is dependant on all of that advertising revenue to support her site, I'll stop linking. Her traffic will dwindle to nothing overnight, the advertisers will all pull their ads, demand all of their money back, and drive her into bankruptcy! The plan is foolproof! It can't fail! Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Me: Hey, nice evil laugh!

Evil Glenn: Thank you, I've been practicing.

Me: Well, that sounds like a pretty good pla-

Evil Glenn: And then, when she is totally broke, I will appear, bearing a matching set of latex penguin suits, to sweep her off her feet and rescue her!

Me: Whoa! Too much information! Um... gotta go.

Evil Glenn: Oh, one more thing. I wouldn't drink that milk in your fridge. It went bad two days ago.

Me: Why you-


There you have it. Evil Glenn's diabolical plan to destroy the Huffington Post through shameless promotion. If I could only get him that mad at There's One, Only!

Posted by GEBIV at May 20, 2005 10:07 PM

Well done!
Nice site, BTW.

Posted by: jimmyb at May 20, 2005 10:57 PM

Heh. I could stand a little victimization myself :-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 21, 2005 01:55 PM

It was good up until you put an image of Arianna and penguin suits into my I will hate you forever.

Posted by: Patriot Xeno at May 22, 2005 10:57 PM
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