August 05, 2005

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn and NASA

Cape Canaveral, FL - Yesterday, rumors of a shake up of the top officials at NASA were confirmed with the appointment of Evil Glenn Reynolds as the new head of Space Flight Operations. In a press briefing earlier, he promised to make future missions as safe as possible for all astronauts. Or, failing that, entirely staff the space flights with homeless people. "After all," he was quoted as saying, "who'd miss them?"

He also announced plans for an extensive series of orbital mapping missions over the South Pole. He planned to use newly designed cameras that would, as he put it, " you details down to the finest penguin feather."

In another sweeping move, he stated that he would be personally taking over all the dietary planning for future flights. This announcement was followed by a sample of the energy smoothies he intends on using which were given out to the entire press corps. Said one reporter, "It was barking good!"

Most were skeptical of his plans to launch several dozen missions per day, however. His logic of -

"If I can post a couple of hundred times during lunch, why can't we launch a few dozen rockets each day? It's not like you have to do more than count backwards from 10. Heck that's easier to do than typing 'Indeed'! You don't even have to link to anything."

- was not met with any enthusiasm.

Posted by GEBIV at August 5, 2005 10:18 PM | TrackBack
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