Secret documents, recently discovered in the New Orleans branch headquarters of the FBI show that the aftermath looting of New Orleans was planned by President Bush, personally. The plans outlined how the Federal agents would instigate the looting, and then shake-down the looters when they tried to leave the area. Special attention was payed to the high end stores as the President has another condo that he needs to furnish. This explains the large numbers of electronics that were looted by residents with no hope of getting electrical service for the next couple of months.
Admitted one staffer, "The whole idea was to get the dumb poor people to do the work for us. Then we could take what we wanted from them and shoot anyone who complained."
Other reports show that just as Nero fiddled while Rome burned, the President strummed while New Orleans flooded. However, President Bush denied rumors that he was planning on leveling the entire city in order to build himself a new palace. "It's more likely to be an amusement park of some sort." he blurted out under intense questioning before his Press Secretary could take the microphone away.
(For those who don't get it, this is a satire. Let's help people out before we start trying to lay blame on anyone.)
Posted by GEBIV at September 4, 2005 03:34 PM | TrackBack