February 25, 2006

Filthy Lie: Mythbusters

I was flipping through the channels one sleepless night, and ran across a special edition of Mythbusters. As best as I can remember it, this is how it ran.

Adam: Hi. I'm Adam Savage!

Jamie: And I'm Jamie Hyneman.

Adam and Jamie, together: And we're the Mythbusters!

Adam: So Hyneman, what myths are we going to be busting today?

Jamie: It looks like we'll be busting some Internet myths. First is the myth that posting pictures of penguins will give you a massive amount of traffic.

Adam: I've heard of that one. Isn't that what they call an "Insta-lanche?"

Jamie: Yes. I believe that's what they call it.

(The camera pans back and shows that they are standing next to a large internet server. Adam sits down at a desk with a laptop.)

Adam: OK. So we've got this website full of penguins frolicing and playing, all ready to go. What we're going to do, is publish the website with this server here. And then we'll check back in a day or two and see how much traffic we've managed to get.

Jamie: As a control, earlier this week I set up a website with pictures of ducks and tracked the traffic. (He shows a chart with a shallow slope indicating the site's traffic.) Now if the myth is right, the chart for the penguin site should have a much steeper slope.

Adam: I'm thinking that it'll take something with at least 30 or 40 percent greater traffic for us to even see a difference.

Jamie: Indeed. And remember, this chart is for over a week's worth of hits. So we probably won't have measurable results for at least that long.

Adam: Here goes! (He clicks [Publish] on the website) Our penguin site is now online. In a week or so, we should be able to see-


Adam: Wow! We've already got a hit. That was quick. How long did it take your Duck website to get it's first hit?

Jamie: I think it was just under 24 hours. But right after that it-


Jamie: I think that-


Adam: (Shouting over the dinging) It looks like this myth may be plausable!

(Suddenly, sparks start shooting out of the server tower. Adam grabs the laptop and runs for cover as Jamie snatches up a fire-extigusher and sprays it on the server tower.)

Jamie: That was unexpected. (His mustache twitches in amazement.)

Adam: Look at this! (He points at the laptop's monitor) The site spiked at over a million hits! In less than a minute!

Jamie: And every one of them from some guy in Tennessee.

Adam: I think that confirms it. Posting pictures of penguins on the internet will get you an Insta-lanche of site hits. Just make sure that your server is up to handling the traffic.

(Then the scene cuts to a music montage of Kari and Tori in the kitchen setting up a row of blenders.)

Voice Over Announcer: When we come back from the break. Kary and Tory will be testing the myth of weather or not Puppy smoothies provide more energy than traditional protien shakes.

At that point I changed the channel. And then just to be extra sure, turned off the TV, dropped it out the window and flushed the remote down the toilet. That was one Mythbusters episode I didn't want to see any more of.

Posted by GEBIV at February 25, 2006 02:46 PM | TrackBack

Hey! My traffic is spiking! :-)

Posted by: Harvey at February 28, 2006 10:27 AM

This site could be alot better as I work on privet invitation only sites that really can and do the MythBuster's web sites righteous, and this site could really shit on the MBs much in the same ways as the MBs do on most of their fans on their own sites. Are you in brother?

Posted by: Bob Edwards at April 30, 2006 05:42 PM
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