March 03, 2006

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Stuff

So, Harvey wants to know what kind of unusual things one would find if they searched Evil Glenn's house? (This is apparently a response to Evil Glenn's blasť attitude about someone allegedly finding ricin in Texas.)

Well, I didn't feel like searching all the way through Evil Glenn's house myself... there are some places I won't go if I don't have to. So I rented one of those huge boom cranes and hooked a corner of Evil Glenn's house with it. Then, tilting the house up on one side, I shook it to see what would fall out.

Here's what I found on the lawn when I was done:

* 429 empty Zima bottles.

* One Zima bottle with a human finger in it.

* 47,939,862 dog collars.

* What appeared to be a full china set (including the gravy boat) with every piece broken. (I may have shaken the house a little too hard...)

* 5,376 empty perscription bottles for Via-gra. (Don't want the spam bots to get me...)

* The front half of a bycicle

* The floor mats from a 1959 Studebaker

* 4 zippo lighters

* 9 kilos of premium grade pot

* Oh, I meant a 9 piece set of premium cooking pots. (Sorry.)

* 14 baseball bats with blood on them.

* 2 broken flashlights.

* 18 Television Remotes, without batteries.

* One slightly battered wide screen... er, a small black and white TV.

* And waaaaaaaaaay too many Hello Kitty things.

Now I need to go see if any of those remotes go to this new Big Screen TV I just got...

Posted by GEBIV at March 3, 2006 11:28 PM | TrackBack

Oooh. Good stuff. The "Hello Kitty" stuff is really telling.... hee hee

Posted by: Debbieh at March 4, 2006 10:58 AM

I don't suppose those '59 Studebaker floormats were Hello Kitty, were they? Because I've been looking for a set...

Posted by: Harvey at March 5, 2006 10:51 AM
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