When I'm guiding you into the car wash, and I yell out, "Stop! Neutral! Foot off the break!" You really have to do it in that order. Any deviation, or rearranging will only result in you not getting the wash you just paid for.
And please, don't come in with a car that hasn't been washed in months, a 1/2 off coupon that gets you the premium wash for only $5, and complain that you don't get a free re-wash 5 days later. If you cared about your car being clean that much, you wouldn't have waited till you couldn't see out of the windows before you washed it the first time!
And you don't have to tell me how dirty your car is, or how long it's been since you last had it washed. I can tell.
In fact, I've been doing this so long I can probably tell you how long it's been since you last washed it, and what counties you were driving in during that time.
And telling me it's been months since you got it washed and then complaining the $5 discounted wash you just purchased doesn't have a free re-wash in five days... that's just so cheap.
And I don't really feel like talking about the weather, either. If it's pleasant out, that's nice, but since I'm working till sundown, it doesn't mean a whole lot to me. And if it's nasty out, well, I really don't need to talk about it because I'M OUT HERE WORKING IN IT ALL DAY!
If you've just waited in line behind four cars, have three more behind you in line, and see me running back and forth doing the jobs of three people, I really don't have time to chat while selling you your wash. Especially about how busy we are...
(Fear of taking the top paper. I couldn't find the real word for it, so I made this one up.)
I know that there are many of you out there who are afraid of taking the top newspaper off the rack. I don't know if you think that the words are worn from other people skimming the headlines, or if you think that the top paper's got germs. (For all I know, it could be the remnant of some kind of paper training trauma.)
But please, if you feel compelled to take the second Buffalo News down. Just pull it out from under the top one. Don't pick the top paper up and set it on the USA Todays next to them. I make a tiny bit more money from the USA Today, so I'd appreciate it if customers could find them.
Thank You.
(Oh, and we touch all the papers before you get to them, so no matter which one you take, it's got OUR germs on it. Bwahahahahahahahaha!)