October 22, 2004


Hey, tomorrow's my birthday! I won't tell you how old I am,. Let's just say that I'll be eligable to run for President in 2008. (OK, 31. But still a kid inside.)

Um... where was I going with this?

Oh yeah. What I would like from anyone who is interested, is some jokes with really bad punch lines. The punnier the better. You know, the same kind of jokes that Harvey hates so much. (Please keep them clean. My parents read this site occasionally.) They don't have to be original. I know that the best jokes get retold time and time again.

Just post them on your own web site, leave me a link in the comments, or a trackback to this post, or e-mail me with the subject "Bad Jokes" to vze3jcj8 (at) verizon.net.

I'll put up a list of them on Sunday so everyone can enjoy them. It'll be sort of a Carnival of the Bad Jokes.

Update:OK. After reading Harvey's comment about 24 hour notices and weekends, I've decided to extend this to a full week. So you have untill Friday the 29th for entries. (Hey it's my birthday present. I can change the rules if I want to.)

And just to let everyone know what kind I like...

Bob and Phil were taking a flight across the Atlantic from New York to London. About halfway across the Atlantic, the captain came on the intercom and made an announcement, interupting the movie.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I regret to have to tell you that we've had some problems with our number 2 engine, so we had to shut it down. Don't worry, we can still make the flight on our remaining three engines, but we will be a half hour late arriving in England."

Bob and Phil went back to watching the movie. A short time later, the captain again came back on the intercom.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry to tell you this, but we've had to shut down another engine. The plane can still fly with just two engines, but now we'll be an hour late to England."

Bob and Phil listened to the captain, and then continued to watch the movie. A few minutes later, the captain came back on the intercom again.

"Folks, I'm really sorry to have to say this, but we've had to shut down another engine. This plane will fly just fine on the remaining one, but unfortunately, we will now be two hours late getting into England."

When the captain was done talking, Bob turned to Phil and said, "You know what? If he shuts down that last engine, we're going to be stuck up here all day."

Posted by GEBIV at October 22, 2004 07:43 PM

I'll give it a mention, but I'm not sure how much response you can get with a 24 hour deadline and first notice posted on a weekend (when blog readership traditionally drops off about 40-60%).

You'll get something from me, though :-)

Posted by: Harvey at October 23, 2004 09:50 AM

By the way, you're the #59 Google hit for "bad jokes" (without quotes) :-)

Posted by: Harvey at October 23, 2004 09:53 AM

Wow, Harvey has enough leisure time to google you. Don't you feel special?

Anyway, I'm the queen of bad jokes. My first bad joke ever was one that I came up with at a religious retreat as a freshman in high school. This joke is almost as old as you are! Anyway, I got pelted with lots of peanuts when I told it that first time, let's see what reaction I get from this one:

I hear the Kraft Corporation is opening up a brand new, state of the art, incredibly fast manufacturing plant in Israel, of all places.

Do you know what they're calling it?

Cheeses of Nazareth!

Posted by: Michele at October 23, 2004 10:38 AM

Sorry, I forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday. May it be a wonderful celebration and a terrific 31st year!

Posted by: Michele at October 23, 2004 10:39 AM

An enterprising hooker thought she needed to drum up business. She bought a 10-speed and 'peddled it' all over town.

Posted by: tbflowers at October 24, 2004 09:44 AM




Posted by: cowboy blob at October 24, 2004 10:53 AM

Happy Birthday!!

Here's your present!


Posted by: Tammi at October 24, 2004 08:56 PM

Happy Belated Birthday! Sorry about the lack of jokes ... kinda busy, and don't feel like washing off tomatoes from Harvey!

Hope you had a good one!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 26, 2004 03:37 AM

Worst pun I have heard:

Don't oPUN your mouth or I'll PUNish you.

Happy 'belated' birthday!

Posted by: vw bug at October 26, 2004 07:58 PM
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