January 12, 2005

PHGA: The generous ones...

The call went out across the blogsphere! Find out what the “generous” people gave to the tsunami relief.

After some serious digging, (and some not so serious creativity) I was able to compile a list of what was given:

(Note: actual donations may have no relationship to that which is reported here.)

Donated a one year supply of the entire nation’s personal hygiene products. (What Indonesia is going to do with two bars of soap, a single stick of underarm deodorant and a toilet brush is up to them.)

Also donated a two month supply of cheese. (Most survivors are using this as a mortar base for reconstruction purposes. One unfortunate person actually tried to eat it an had to be med-evacted to a nearby aircraft carrier.

One town of 500 donated their entire year’s take-home pay. (The approximately $42 was used to rescue 3 trapped sea turtles.)

Donated 140 Cubans to help set up a new Indonesian Baseball League. (1300 other Cubans were found to be stowed away in their sports equipment.)

Didn’t invade or fire any nuclear missiles. (About the best you could hope for, really.)

Dug really deep and sent over what mattered most to all of the actors and actresses. (Unfortunately, the per capita amount of photographers is now well over 10 per person in India.)

Michael Moore
Donated the hair from the scruffy beard he recently shaved off. (It may have looked scraggly, but once you factor in the square footage of face that it had to cover, you find that there is easily enough material to thatch several small huts.)

Barbra Streisand
Donated… well nothing that I could find. But I didn’t look very hard. Ooh, I just found it. She donated the missing “a” from her first name. (I always wondered where that went.)

Well, I couldn’t find any more donations from “generous” people. Unless you want to count the hundreds of millions of dollars donated by all of the rest of America.

That is all.

Posted by GEBIV at January 12, 2005 05:47 PM
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