There's One, Only!

We interupt your regularlty scheduled blog...

I was driving along the other day, when I heard the latest OnStar(bucks) commercial.

_______________________________________________________

Announcer: Hello coffee drinking public!

We here at OnStar(bucks) are always dedicated to improving the service of coffee to our customers. One of the things this means, is that we are always looking for ways of making the coffee purchase experience easier for you.

Well that doesn’t sound too bad…

Now, what is the most annoying part of buying coffee at our drive-through windows?

The three dollars you charge for a small… I mean tall… coffee!

That’s right! Having to dig through your pockets to find the correct change!

Not even close…

Well, we’ve come up with a plan to help eliminate that problem! With our new OnStar(bucks) E-Z-Pass Coffee System!!!!

Wow. I could actually hear all four exclamation points.

With the E-Z-Pass Coffee System, we use an E-Z-Pass Coffee Sensor attached to the roof of your car to automatically deduct the cost of your coffee purchase directly from a pre-paid account.

I guess that doesn’t sound too bad… but I’d hate to have to pre-pay for my coffee.

Fifteenpercentservicefeeonallaccountsinactiveformorethanfortyeighthours.
Minimumaccountballanceoffiftydollars.OnStar(bucks)notresposibleforanyac
countingmistakesorerrorsmadeatdrivethrough.EZPassCoffeeSensorinstalla
tioncostoffortynineninetyfivebilledattimeofinstallation.OnStar(bucks)reserv
estherighttodiscontinuethisprogramatanytime.OnStar(bucks)isnotresponsib
leforthecancelationofanyvehiclewarrantiesduetotheinstallationoftheEZPass
CoffeeSensor.UponcancellationoftheprogramallEZPassCoffeeSensorsmust
bereturnedtoOnStar(bucks).RemovalcostoffortyninenietyfivefortheEZPass
CoffeeSensorwillbedeductedfromtheremainderoftheEZPassCoffeeSystema
ccount.ApenaltyoffiftydollarsappliestoalllostEZPassCoffeeSensors.

Wow, that’s some pretty nasty small print…

Posted by GEBIV at February 11, 2005 06:00 PM