August 16, 2005

Rank Adjustments

Pentagon, Washington - (A.P.) In a move expanding on the changes made last week by Adm. Timothy Keating at NORAD, the Department of the Navy has issued a change in the names of some of their ranks. Following both the NCAA tournement and NORAD, the Navy is eliminating all references to American Indians.

The rank of Chief Petty Officer will now be known as The S. O. B.. Or if female, The B****.

The rank of Senior Chief Petty Officer will now be known as The Boss.

The rank of Master Chief Petty Officer, in defference to both the American Indians and descendants of former slaves, will be reffered to in the first person as Your Majesty, and in the third person as The Right Hand of God.

And the Master Chief of the Navy will of course be known to Admirals and Seamen alike, simply as God Himself.

Most of these changes will not be noticable to the lower ranks of the Navy.

(Inspired by Scrappleface.)

Posted by GEBIV at August 16, 2005 01:46 PM | TrackBack
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