June 08, 2006

PGHA: Raising Money for Michael Moore

Well, I was sitting there on the couch, trying to ignore the nagging voice that said I wasn't getting my PGHA done on time, and just flipping through the channels. Then I saw something so bizarre on PBS that I had to stop channel surfing for a moment.


Ryan: And we'll be right back with "Zippo, the Little Lighter that Could" in a few moments. But in the meantime, we need your help.

Collin: Absolutely! We need you to give to the most noble of charities... feeding the hungry. Or at least one hungry man.

Ryan: That's right. After loosing a recent court case, Michael Moore has barely enough of his personal fortune left to put food on his plate.

Collin: Did you know that he has fifteen mouths to feed?

Ryan: Wow! I had no idea that his family was that large.

Collin: Well actually, it's the equivalent of 15 mouths that he has to feed. He actually eats as much as fifteen fully grown adults.

Ryan: Heh. I wonder how many children that would equal?

Collin: Twenty three.


Collin: You asked.

Ryan: Anyways. We've got over two dozen celebrities here to answer phones for the donations they you'll so generously be sending. They've graciously donated their time so that you can have the thrill of talking to someone famous... That and they're all between projects right now.

Collin: Now you may ask, why don't they just give the money we need to feed Mr. Moore. Frankly, most of them are just living paycheck to paycheck themselves.

Ryan: Do you know how much it takes to maintain a fleet of limos?

Collin: Not to mention the cost of air-conditioning their mansions while they're not even home.

Ryan: Stop. Stop. You're breaking my heart. Now we'll have to organize another telethon to help them. But we have to help Mr. Moore first. Please can't you find it in your heart to donate ten thousand dollars or so? That's what it takes to pay for one days worth of Twinki's for poor Mr. Moore.

Collin: And if you can't give that little, a gift of only five thousand dollars will help pay for one meal's worth of bacon. So please, give what you can.


On second thought. I decided that I'd rather not watch any more TV.

Posted by GEBIV at June 8, 2006 04:13 PM | TrackBack
Post a comment

Remember personal info?