June 28, 2006

PGHA: World Peas

Boy, Harvey asked a weird question this week. What is the biggest threat to world peas?

Well, after a lot of thought, I'd have to say the Jolly Green Giant. I mean look, you've got these happy little peas living in their pod. Not bothering anyone. Not doing anything but sit there... maybe humming a happy little tune or something.

And then comes along this strangly pigmented man with a thyroid problem (or something) who scoops them up and crams them into a can to be sold in a supermarket. And why?

It can't be because anyone actually likes to eat peas! They taste like... mush. (Unless you put so much butter on them that all you can taste is butter. Which kind of defeats the point of eating a vegetable in the first place.) Even my Dad's old dog used to spit them out. And she'd eat anything. (Trust me on this. You really don't want to know details.)

And I've never seen convincing data that shows that peas are good for you. (They never account for all of the peas that get shoved under napkins or smashed into subatomic particles with the back of a spoon. Everyone says they eat the peas... but do they?) So you can't try to sell me on that old story.

So I say it's time to stop the Jolly Green Giant and leave the peas in the fields. It's where they belong and where they want to be.

Posted by GEBIV at June 28, 2006 08:51 PM | TrackBack
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