There's One, Only!

A Few Banjo Jokes for old time's sake

A beautiful maiden is talking a stroll around the castle when she hears, "Hey! Down here!" Looking around, she sees a small frog down by the moat and picks it up. "Hi-I'm really a banjo player but an evil witch has put a spell on me and turned me into a frog. If you would kiss me I can return to my normal self and we can live happily ever after..." The beautiful maiden smiles and puts the frog in her purse. "Hey! Aren't you going to kiss me?" shouts the frog. "No way! A talking frog is worth a lot more than a banjo player!"

A bluegrass band is on their way back from a gig South of the border when they get arrested for playing a banjo after dark. The judge quickly sentences them to death. At dawn the next morning the band finds themselves looking at the business end of a firing squad. "Ready, Aim,..."

"Earthquake!" yells the guitar player which distracts the guards long enough so he can jump over the wall to freedom.

"Ready, Aim,..."

"Flood!" yells the mandolin player who jumps over the wall to freedom.

Now the banjo player is starting to catch on.

"Ready, Aim,..."

"Fire!" yells the banjo player as loud as he can...

A Russian, a Cuban, and two Americans, (a guitar player and a banjo player) were sharing a compartment on a train. The Russian in an attempt to impress the other passengers says, "In Russia we have so much vodka that we can afford to throw it away." He then throws a bottle of fine Russian vodka out the window. In a spirit of one-upmanship, the Cuban replies, "In Cuba, we have so many fine cigars that we can simply throw them away." And the Cuban proceeds to throw a box of the finest Cuban cigars out the window. Not to be outdone, the guitar player says nothing, he just stands up and throws the banjo player out of the window...

And one that for some reason makes me think of Harvey...

Driving down a long lonesome highway through the dessert on his way West, a weary traveler sees a lone female hitchhiking by the side of the road and slows to a stop to pick her up. She smiles, grabs her banjo, jumps in, and they're off. Then all of a sudden she yells, "Stop the car!" He slows the car to a halt under the shade of a big tree she jumps out of the car grabs her banjo, climbs up in the tree, throws off all her clothes, and starts playing the Star Spangled Banner. Have you heard this one before? No!?! What! You never heard our National Anthem before?!?