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PGHA: Cheer up a Marine

Oops.

I just checked the Alliance HQ assignments for the week, and realized that I forgot to post this earlier. The official deadline for the assignment was this evening, but the suggestion was made that the earlier the better.

I apologize for the delay.

Anyways, the assignment was for everyone to post a joke or two about the military to help cheer up a Marine. I think I’ve posted this one before, but it may have been on my old blogspot site.

So here goes.

A story with a moral

One day a third grade teacher asked her students to each tell a story about their families with a moral.

The first student was little Jimmy. “Yesterday, my sister was coming back from the chicken coop with all of the eggs for the day, and she tripped and broke all the eggs.” He said.

“Very good,” said the teacher. “And what was the moral to that story?”

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!” answered the boy.

The next story was from Billy. “Last week, my little brother knocked over his milk at breakfast, and started crying so loud that he got a spanking.”

“And the moral is?” said the teacher.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk.”

Next up was sweet little Tammy. “My Uncle John is a Marine.” She started. “And last year he was flying a helicopter when it was hit by enemy fire. He knew that the helicopter was going to crash, so he checked to see what supplies he had. All he had was his rifle, a knife and a bottle of whisky.

“He drank the whole bottle of whisky on the way down, so that the crash wouldn’t spill any of it. Then when he climbed out of the wreck, he found he was surrounded by a hundred terrorists!

“He killed half of them with his rifle, until he ran out of ammo. Then he used his knife and killed another 30 of them until his knife broke. Then he strangled the last 20 with his bare hands!”

“Good Lord!” exclaimed the shocked teacher. “And what could the moral to that story be?”

“Don’t mess with Uncle John when he’s been drinking!”

And here’s one dedicated to my Dad, LCDR, USN, Ret.

An Air Force General, an Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral were all arguing about which service had the bravest men. The argument got so heated that the Air Force General called over one of his men.

“Airman!” he said. “Climb to the top of that radar tower and jump off!”

The airman saluted, said whatever it is airmen say (up, up and away, or something…) and climbed to the top of the tower and jumped off. Splat!

The Air Force General smiled and said, “That’s how brave my boys are.”

Not to be outdone, the Army General called over one of his men. “Soldier, climb to the top of that tower and make me proud.”

The soldier climbed to the top of the tower, un-slung his rifle and jumped off, firing all the way to the round. Splat!

The Army General just smiled at the other officers.

The Marine General snorted and called over one of his Marines. “Marine!” he barked. “Climb to the top of that tower and show them what real men are made of!”

The Marine climbed to the top of the tower, pulled out a hand grenade, pulled the pin and stuffed it in his mouth. Then he pulled out two 45’s and jumped, firing into the air as he fell. And exploded half way to the ground. Boom!

The Marine General smiled and said, “Let’s see any of your pansies top that.”

The Admiral pulled out a cigar, and while rolling it between his fingers, called over a Sailor.
“Sailor.” he said, “Climb to the top of that tower and jump off.”

The Sailor looked at the tower, and then back at the Admiral. “Screw you, sir.” He said.

The Admiral turned to the generals as he lit up his cigar. “That, gentlemen,” he said as he puffed the cigar, “takes real guts!”

Posted by GEBIV at February 16, 2005 03:10 PM