There's One, Only!

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Outtakes

Hmmm... It seems that Evil Glenn did an interview on CNN and forgot to notify the real press. So of course I missed it. Which is just as well I suppose. Rumor is that the whole thing was pretty dull and boring.

Apparently CNN edited out some of the more ...interesting bits.

But I was able - at great risk of life, limb and sanity - to obtain some transcripts of the deleted parts of the interview.

Evil Glenn: ... and this, coupled with the theory I spoke of earlier - in conjunction with the tonsisity of the frangulated confabulation - is why I feel that you owe me a pastrami sandwich. And if you don't get it right now, I'm going to hold my breath until you do!

Evil Glenn: (when asked about the recent Palestinian elections) That's a good question. And I'd like to respond this way. (Turns and moons interviewer, showing his Hello Kitty underwear.)

Evil Glenn: But blending the puppies gives it a nice sticky feeling. (laughing) No, seriously. The best way to get the fur out of your teeth is to use the hair of a freshly murdered hobo as dental floss.

Evil Glenn : (standing in front of a map of Europe) And we can see here, by the patterns of the frequencies of the so called "spontaneous" demonstrations, that... what? My barn door's open? I don't understand? "Close the screen door"? What doors are you talking about? And who's this "Mr. Johnson" you keep saying to page? Listen! Will you please stop this childishness! I don't know what you're talking about and I won't stand here and... Oh. (turns and zips up fly) Um... can we start over?

To tell the truth, I'm really glad that I didn't have to see that last one. Just reading the transcript was bad enough. Excuse me, I have to go scrub my brain out now... with lye.

Posted by GEBIV at February 17, 2006 08:09 PM | TrackBack