July 12, 2006

GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!

If this were to happen a little more often, I might even start watching 'soccer' myself.

(By 'this' I mean more tinplated dictators taking a header...)

Posted by GEBIV at 09:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

PGHA: North Korea's Tantrum

OK. Harvey made a good point about the recent "Missile Tests" in North Korea. Basically, North Korea had a tantrum because no one was paying attention to it. Which helps explain some of the other bizarre behavior that's been coming out of the little country.

* Earlier this week, North Korea threatened to hold it's breath till it passed out if it didn't get more missiles.

* Later, in the middle of dinner, North Korea announced that the food tasted like poop and threw it on the floor of the restaurant.

* Then, while at the mall with it's mother (China) suddenly started screaming "I WANT A PONY!!!! ...AND MORE MISSILES!!!!"

* And finally, just recently, North Korea walked into the U.N. General Assembly and started singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot" at the top of it's lungs.

Yep. Looks like North Korea is going through the 'terrible twos' ...looks like time for a little 'negative re-enforcement'.

Posted by GEBIV at 07:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 08, 2006

Filthy Lie: Know thy Enemy-Frank J.

Wow. It looks like Frank J.'s been running IMAO for four years now. And you know what that means?

That's right! It's time to tell filthy lies about Frank! And in a manner shamelessly stolen from Frank.


Know Thy Enemy: Frank J.

FUN FACTS ABOUT FRANK J.

* Frank J. claims to be a samuri.

* He also has an apreciation for firearms.

* Together those two facts make him the most dangerous person in... his house.

* Except for his wife Sarah K. -who in addition to the above skills can also add "Combat Singing."

* Some people claim that his blog's name, IMAO, stands for In My Arrogant Oppinion.

* They're wrong.

* It actually means "I Mao" and is a reference to Frank J.'s belief that he is the re-incarnation of Mao Tse Tung.

* Frank J's site should not be confused with IMOW or IMOE. Which are, respectively, about lawn care and the leader of The Three Stooges.

* Frank J. claims to hate cats.

* He actually likes them a lot... with Orange Sauce and a side of noodles.

* It's order #42 at the Chinese restaurant down the street.

* Frank J. was once shot by a monkey.

* Frank J. was forced to kill that monkey with his samuri skills.

* Fortunately for Frank, the monkey hadn't completed Ninja school or Frank would have been a goner.

* Frank J. made IMAO a group blog so he would have more time to pursue his hobbies.

* The main one being -hunting down all the monkeys on the planet.

* Spacemonkey only gets to live until Frank gets around to extraterrestrials.

* Frank J. once met Chuck Norris.

* Well he would have met him if he hadn't hid in fear behind the sunglass stand at the mall where Mr. Norris was signing autographs.

* Frank J. isn't afraid of Chuck Norris. He's afraid of beards.

* Which is probably the only reason he hasn't kicked Harvey off IMAO yet.

* There is only one thing better than reading Frank J.'s writing at IMAO.

* And that's reading more of Frank J.'s writings!

* Happy Blogiversary Frank!

Posted by GEBIV at 07:12 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 05, 2006

PGHA: Stupid Protester Tricks

Wow, what'll they think of next? Here we've got modern hunger strikes that don't involve not eating food. Either the strike is a rolling hunger strike where it gets passed off to another person every 24 hours, or it could be a "no solid food" hunger strike. Which means you could toss bacon and eggs into a blender and have breakfast without actually breaking your fast. Mmmmm.... blended bacon....

So all of this leads to the question: In addition to "fasts" that don't exclude food, what other half-hearted, watered-down protest techniques will hip-and-trendy anti-war protesters be using this summer?

Well, just as they are emulating Caesar Chavez and Gandhi's historic hunger strikes with "Operation Rolling Hunger" they will be emulating other famous protesters from throughout history.

In emulation of the United States Founding Fathers, they will be re-enacting their own version of the Boston Tea Party by pouring out -onto President Bush's Crawford Ranch driveway- nearly an ounce, each, of their Starbucks Mocha-Latte-Half Milk, Half Cream-Pinch of Cinnamon-Extra Whipped Cream-Grande Cappuccinos.

Following the example of the Buddhist Monks who would self-immolate in protest of the Vietnamese Government, many Hollywood protesters are leaving their curling irons on for an entire extra minute. Giving themseves that "slightly singed, but my hair's still better than your's" look.

Walking in the footsteps of Martin Luther King's historic march on Washington, D.C. -figuratively, if not literally- they will be marching, arm in arm, all the way to where the President's security detail made them park their limos and tour busses.

Showing the same courage that was displayed by the student protester in Tienemen Square who refused to back down for a line of tanks, the Hollywood elite will take turns standing in front of a parked '87 Ford Escort that has BUSH=HITLER written on it.

And reflecting the same belief in things greater than their own personal well being that Patrick Henry immortalized with his statement of "Give me Liberty, or give me death!" the protesters will be chanting "Iraqi's Freedoms aren't worth dying for!"

Posted by GEBIV at 09:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 01, 2006

Duck Diving

A couple of weeks back (maybe 3...), my Dad adopted a bunch of mallard ducklings that were orphaned in front of my house. (Which is also right next to where I work. Great commute, but a pain being on call 24/7.)

Well, today we finally figured out how to use his digital camera to record them going for one of their daily swims in my pool.

The ducks are named (in no particular order... and frankly, we can't tell which are which) Huey, Dewey, Louie, Wrongway Harrigan and Houdini.

And they LOVE going swimming in the pool!

Posted by GEBIV at 09:29 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack