There's One, Only!

Did everyone get to see the Bills lose on National TV Last Night?

What's wrong with them? They dominate the first half, holding the ball for over 20 minutes. But only score three points. Then, they didn't bother to show up for the second half.

AND WHO THROWS A SHORT SIDELINE PASS WITH 2 MINUTES TO GO ON FOURTH AND 7!?!!? TO SOMEONE WHO IS DOUBLE COVERED!?!?!? You don't have to worry about the clock. Just get the first down!

Arghhhhhhhh! Sometimes I hate being a Bills fan.

Ok. Most of the time.

Oh no, we're not going to run out?

Found something really interesting while browsing some of Michelle Malkin's posts. This article by Michael Fumento has a lot of good info on oil sands. And how much of it there is.

That reminds me of something else I came across quite a while ago. Changing World Technology has developed a process that can change any organic refuse into light crude.

And best of all, both of these are very economically feasible.

Cool stuff, eh?

While the Blogfather is away...

The delinquents will play!

Comment party over at Harveys. The watch-cat's already been locked up in the closet, so head on over.

And don't forget the whipped cream.

Filthy Lie: Who's a Nazi?

Recently, someone made the observation that The Alliance logo is somewhat Nazi-like.

There is a perfectly good explanation for this similarity in appearence. Unfortunately, I don't know what it is.

The nearest I can tell is, since The Alliance is dedicated to opposing a Communist spy who likes to dance the robot; we must be fascists. And since we're organized fascists, we must be Nazis. After all, that's what anyone who opposes all the Socialist programs the Liberal Democrats are always promoting is called.

So, remember if you don't sit there and drink the Liberal's kool-aid, that makes you a fascist and a Nazi. At least according to their slightly biased point of view. Of course, they consider anyone to the right of Castro to be an extremist wacko...

Anyways-

All hail Frank J.!

OK. Sometimes ruthless is good.

Ulysses S. Grant You scored 68 Wisdom, 54 Tactics, 62 Guts, and 60 Ruthlessness!

Like you, Grant went about the distasteful business of war realistically and grimly. His courage as a commander of forces and his powers of organization and administration made him the outstanding Northern general. Grant, though, had no problem throwing away lives on huge seiges of heavily defended positions. At times, Union casualties under Grant were over double that of the Confederacy. However, Grant was notably wise in supporting good commanders, especially Sheridan , William T. Sherman , and George H. Thomas. Made a full general in 1866, he was the first U.S. citizen to hold that rank.

Good News....

Or not, depending on your point of view.

Guess what I got for my Birthday?

A gift card from Borders?

Well, yes. But that's not what I was referring to. I got a mortgage for my birthday, sort of.

Wow. That sound real exiting. /sarcasm

Gee. Thanks. But the important thing is that my Grandparents, who I was renting half the house from, no longer have a mortgage payment to worry about.

But you do. And don't forget you get to pay property taxes in one of the most overtaxed parts of the country now, too.

Yeah, I know. That's why this is kind of bitter-sweet.

Well, since I'm now a property owner, I think that we should go back to the concept of only people with a vested interest (i.e. property owners) being allowed to vote in local elections. (And by local, I'm including the Governor and Congress) That should take care of some of the tax problems real quick...

PGHA: Saddam Quotes

It's the latest "Trial of the Century." No, not Cheney being indicted for the high crime of being a Republican who supports the President. Saddam's trial. You remember him, "Spider Hole" Sadam, "The Butcher of Baghdad" ... the guy with the big mustache that's now a beard?

That's right! His trial is finally starting. And because Harvey doesn't want to have to wait untill the end, he asked us to speculate a little and come up with:

What will be the most memorable quotes to emerge from the trial of Saddam Hussein?

Here's what I came up with:

"I will kill anyone who says that I'm a murdering monster!"

"I don't recognize the authority of this trial! And I don't recognize the authority of this judge! And I don't recognize my lawyer. Who are all these people? Who am I?" - Saddam trying for the "Amnesia" defence.

"Give me freedom or give me death! Oh wait, that didn't come out the way I wanted..."

"I'd like to request a 50-year recess while I die of old age."

"Hey, when's that England chick going to lead me around like a dog in nothing but a collar?"

"You know, if I'm found not guilty, I bet you'll get to be on Oprah..." - to the judge during deliberations

"Ackkkkkk Urk." - Last words as his sentence is carried out.

Pet Peeve of the Day

Is there anything worse than being stuck in the drive through behind someone who is getting a massive food order? You know, the ones where when the food finally arrives, it comes in 4 or 5 of the really large bags.

If you are going to be getting that much food, go inside where people just getting a quick meal (the whole point of FAST FOOD) don't have to wait forever, staring at your rear bumper.

Remember, courtesy is what keeps people from shooting out your tail lights...

Burp*

Went to my parent's favorite restaurant for dinner tonight. When you're a member of their Birthday club, you get a free dinner on or really close to your birthday. So even though my actual birthday was yesterday, I got to eat free!

And then at the end of dinner (a bowl of Taco Soup [interesting, and unusual], a bowl of Chicken Wing Soup [one of the reasons my parent love the restaurant], a small salad and some Chicken Parmesan) they brought out a small cake. That was real nice of them... plus it had the only candle that I got to blow out for my birthday.

So now I'm totally stuffed. It's off to bed for me...

It's my birthday.

And this is how I'd really like to spend it.

Tomorrow...

...is my 32nd birthday. I'm really lousy at asking for gifts. (I'm at that point in life where if I really want something, I just go and get it. And if I can't afford it, then I really didn't need it anyways...) So, whenever anyone asks what I want, I can't think of anything.

But any-who, if anyone wants to give me a blog birthday present, just post it at your site and trackback to this post. I'll probably get around to doing a roundup in a couple of days....

DOOM - The Review

I just got home from the theater. And I have to say that I have some mixed feelings about DOOM. The action scenes were really good, and the first-person point-of-view section was well done... but I can't say that this was one of my favorite movies.

To begin with, it starts a little slow. Kind of like the video game in that respect. Then, you get to spend much of the first half of the movie playing the "who's going to die first" game. Or if you like - the "who's going to live to the end" or "how is each going to die" games.

I think part of the problem is that they tried to make the first half of the movie a horror movie. DOOM the game has lot's of horror in it, but it's primarily a game about a lone-man fighting against impossible odds. The movie eventually gets around to that, but it seemed to take a bit too long to do so.

About the first-person part. That was cool! It was a lot like watching a really good game of DOOM. I don't want to see a whole movie done that way, but as a way to do a fight scene/action sequence, it was great. Before the movie I was a little worried that this section of the movie (which was highly featured in all the pre-views) could be nausea inducing. But they did it well, and I suffered no ill effects.

All in all, I will say that if you liked DOOM the game, you will probably like DOOM the movie. It wasn't a waste of $8.50, but I probably won't be going back to see it again in the theater. Maybe if I have a coupon...

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Alien

Hmm. This is a good question: Why is there an alien at Evil Glenn's house? (As shown by Chris Muir's cartoon Day-by-Day)

Now I could take the easy route and say that this is a very clever reference to the classic Sci-Fi movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still. But that would also imply that Evil Glenn is some sort of savior figure... and I'm not willing to go there.

What Chris Muir has unintentionally discovered is in fact the latest in home security devices as created by Evil Glenn Industries. It is the Insta-bot™! A high-tech personal guard made from the finest materials a blogging income can buy. That's right - paper maché.

And until the first rainfall happens, the Insta-bot™ will stand guard, protecting Evil Glenn from all media investigators looking into his alleged past indiscretions concerning hoboes, penguins and puppies.

So be careful, Evil Glenn's got some heavy duty defenses right now! But they're the only things standing between him and the ever vigilant Mainstream Media...

(This has been a Filthy Lie.)

Thud! Review

Thud!, by Terry Pratchett, is a good book. It's also the traditional sound that a Troll club makes when it hits a Dwarf on the head. Which is one of the headaches that Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch has been saddled with.

Commander Vimes and all of the old favorites from the City Watch are trying to find out who killed a Dwarf holy-man...er dwarf. And at the same time are trying to prevent the latest re-incarnation of the Battle of Koom Valley - the formal beginning of the animosity between Dwarf and Troll, now coming up on its 1000th anniversary. (A battle in which both sides claim to have been ambushed by the other.)

All of this is happening in Ankh-Morpork - melting pot of the Disk. A flat world resting upon four giant elephants who stand atop Atuin, the great space-swimming turtle. (And this is no local myth. It has been scientifically proven by brave adventurers who have gone to the edge of the Disk and looked down.)

Thud! is a fun who-dunnit set in a world of sarcastic fantasy. The Diskworld is a place where dwarfs, wizards, men and trolls all exist within the same city. Albeit not necessarily peacefully. And there be dragons as well. Watch out for them, because if they eat the wrong thing, the next sound you hear is very loud hiss followed by an even louder pop.

So read Thud and follow Commander Vimes as he digs down to find the dwarf-murderer and learns what really happened at the Battle of Koom Valley one thousand years ago...

Rating: 5 out of 5

PGHA: Al-Qaeda's New Strategic Plan

Sometimes I think Harvey is just a little too friendly. No, not in that creepy-old-guy-handing-out-candy-to-young-kids way. It's just that he keeps wanting us to lend a hand in helping people who are our sworn enemies. The U.N., Democrats, Michael Moore... and yet again, the terrorist Islamofascist murdering scumbags er, tango's in Al-Qaeda.

Namely, he wants us to help them come up with a better strategic gameplan for Al-Qaeda to use.

After a bit of thinking, (and a double-cheese bowl of nachos) I was able to come up with a fool-proof plan.

The most important thing is coordination, so the first step is for everyone in Al-Qaeda to get together for a massive organizational meeting. They should bring all their weapons and bombs and stuff with them, in order to facilitate proper distribution.

Then, in step two, they should blow up all the ordinence.

In step three, the population of Iraq, once the partying was over and no longer constantly attacked by the tangos form their own free and representative government.

Finally, in step four, the United States graciously removes it's armed forces from Iraq (as we've promised to do from day one...) and allows the free people of Iraq govern and protect themselves.

See, in just four easy steps, they can get the United States out of Iraq!

Let's review:

Step 1. Get Everyone In Al-Qaeda In One Place

Step 2. Blow Them Up.

Step 3. Party And Create Free Representative Government.

Step 4. America Goes Home

See how easy that is.

Zen Food

Chinese food for dinner tonight! Kung Po Chicken with Lo Mein. My favorite.

And as always, a fortune cookie for dessert.

Be patient, pleasant and open and you will se more truths.

THUD

I just got the latest book by Terry Pratchett. Thud. If you've never read any of Pratchett's Diskworld series, you've been missing out on something good.

Personally, I'd recommend reading them in the order they were written. Because while most of them stand on their own very well, there are a lot of inside character relationship jokes that don't stand out too well without knowledge of the character's pasts.

If everyone's really good, I'll give a review of Thud when I finish.

Pondering My Existence

I am ....

Or am I?

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Voices

So, Harv want's to know what the voices in Evil Glenn's head are telling him.

Well, I asked the voices in my head if they had any ideas. Once they were done with the usual "Kill! Maim! Rend! Destroy!" they settled down a little.

Voices: So, what do you want?

GEBIV: Do you guys know the voices that are in Evil Glenn's head?

Voices: Oh those guys? Sure. We're in the same bowling league.

GEBIV: You bowl?

Voices: What? Aren't we entitled to a life even if you don't have one? We go on Thursdays, in case you didn't notice.

GEBIV: You know, I thought Thurdays were pretty quiet.

Voices: Yeah. Now, what did you want to know?

GEBIV: Evil Glenn's voices, what do they tell him?

Voices: Oh, besides the usuall -Kill! Maim! Destroy!- stuff?

GEBIV: Yes, besides all that.

Voices: Not too much else, except that one really weird one. It goes on and on about penguins all day. Sometimes, it even interferes with the bowling league. But at least it drowns out those guys from Howard Dean's head.

GEBIV: .... OK, you know what, I don't want to know. So I'm not going to ask.

Voices: Well, have it your way. Kill! Maim! Destr-

So, that's what I was able to get. Not too surprising really. You know those voices, they're pretty much all the same. At least that's what they keep telling me...

Weird.

Something weird happened tonight. I can't tell you exactly what it was, because the circumstances that set up the weirdness are pretty much a result of my being lazy and stupid.

But it was still pretty weird.

Now I just hope the Sabres can beat the Lightning tonight. They just tied the game up at 2-2. (Take that Tammi.)

Update: They won in a shootout! Their first one.

PGHA: Ramadan

This week at The Alliance, Harvey wanted us to play nice and come up with some ways to help the Islamo-fascist-terrorist-scum (Oops, sorry about that, let's just call them tangos. You know, the phonetic word for "T" which stands for terrorist. 'Sides it sounds like mangoes, and everyone likes mangoes.) tangos celebrate Ramadan.

Well, I don't know much about Islamic holidays, but I seemed to remember reading somewhere that Ramadan was one of those fast holidays. Not fast as in it goes by quickly, like Christmas to a little kid. But fast as in you aren't allowed to eat anything. From what I understand, this is strictly observed during the daylight hours, and then at night, you can feast like a... well, certainly not some sort of porcine farm animal, but you get the general drift.

Now, all these *ahem* tangos claim to be the most religious and strictest adherents to the Islamic faith. So the way I figure to help them celebrate Ramadan better, is to encourage them to go whole ho- er, not take any half measures. None of this only during the day stuff. Remember, the sun is always shining somewhere.

So if you're a tango celebrating Ramadan, don't just not eat during the day. Don't eat at all for the entire month! And then, if you want to show how much better you are than all the other tangos who are merely fasting by not eating, don't drink any water or any other liquids either. That'll show them who's the most religious little tango.

And then, for the final tie breaker, you can give up breathing for Ramadan too. Oxygen is just a crutch for the weak anyways.

Remember, if you're a tango out there who want's help celebrating Ramadan, just let us at The Alliance know. I'm sure that everyone will be glad to help you with my suggestions.

It's so unfair.

I'm in a small fantasy football league with some friends and family, (only 6 teams) but no matter what happens each week, I just can't win. The worst part is that even though I have the second most total points for the league, I'm in dead last place wth a record of 0-5.

It seems that whenever someone plays me, they always score just enough points to beat me. Even though in several cases, I had enough points to beat every other team in the league. I've got a good team, but I just can't get any breaks.

Oh well, I've still got most of the season to catch up.

Oh well...

Looks like I won't be able to watch tonight's Sabres game. I can't find it anywhere... Oh wait there it is. On the OLN?

I liked it better when the Sabres had their own station. But Empire folded up when the league did last year.

Man, these announcers are nothing compared to Rick Jeneret.

Cool, I just found out that I can listen to the game on WGR55.com. A good thing since I can't get AM radio very well on my stereo. (One of these days, I'll get a better antenna.) Too bad the webcast is a bit behind the televised game.

Oh good, they've also got the TV schedule for the rest of the season. Now I won't have problems finding the games on the different channels each night.

Well, I'm happy now! :-)

Fithly Lie: Evil Glenn's Cruise Line

Well, I guess the impending Wisconsin winter (I belive it begins the day after Columbus Day) is weighing heavily on Harvey, because he seems to be actually contemplating a cruise on Evil Glenn's newest acquisition, Princess Cruise Lines.

I don't have any personal information on what happens on a cruise, (I haven't had a vacation in several years) but I have heard some rumors on what to expect from Captain Glenn.

First of all, when they say it's a southern cruise, they mean SOUTHERN. As in South Pole. That's right, the cruise line is being entirely converted into penguin sighting trips.

Or should I say, penguin spying trips. About half of the current state-rooms on the cruise ships are being re-fitted to contain massive volumes of high-speed video cameras with extremely powerful telephoto lenses. The on board movie theaters will be playing the newly acquired footage on a continual basis.

The only other thing I heard about the reconfigured cruise line (as if the penguins weren't bad enough) is that whatever you do, you don't want to tell Captain Glenn that you are retired. As far as he's concerned, retirement is just a bad haircut away from being a hobo. And even though he usually leaves his hobo-whacking bat at home, those shuffleboard sticks make a pretty good substitute.

What a load of ...

DirecTV and MSG were supposed to have made a deal, so I was supposed to have been able to watch the Sabres play the Bruins tonight.

But when I turn on the MSG network, I GET CANADIAN FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE'S MY HOCKEY?

This doesn't bode well for me tonight. But at least I finally got that leak in my roof patched up. Ahhhhh no dripping.

Now I have to work on this weeks filthy lie. (No rest for the wicked I guess...)

Update: I found the game on another channel down the dial. Still can't figure out why MSG has the Sabres/Bruins game on the menu if they aren't showing it.

Another oof.

Wow. That was a long day. I just got off a 12 and a half hour shift (7:30 to 8:00, the long way) because our regular morning person needed off (her husband was recently diagnosed with liver cancer and he had tests this morning that she had to take him to, so please pray for them). In light of that, I guess my day could have been a lot worse.

But I still feel like whining a little. It was a long day spent out in the sun detailing a couple of cars in between all my other resposibilities. And even though it's October, being out in the sun meant 80deg temps (even hotter when actually in the cars). And you can't put the car in the garage to detail the inside because you need all the light you can get to make sure you don't miss anything. At least one of the two gave us a tip, that's always nice.

Now I have to try to get my old scanner working so I can bribe Harvey with some Grafitti Currency to do the - now very late - Alliance round-up that I was too tired to do last night.

PGHA: Counter Protest Equipment

I don't go to rallies or protests much myself. Well, ever, really. I don't like crowds. It's not that I'm afraid of them, or even all that uncomfortable being in one. I just don't like them that much. The only time you can get me into a crowd is if there is a major sporting event that I want to see.

But none of that makes me unquallified to tell you what you should bring to protest an anti-war protest, should you happen to want to go to one.

Of course, just because I'm qualified to tell you doesn't mean that I'm capable of coming up with any ideas.

The only thing that I can think of is the rumor that like the French, most Hippies can be rendered powerless with the use of personal hygene products. So when faced with an anti-war protest, I recomend bringing soap. Lots and lots of soap. And deoderant.

My thoughts on the Miers nomination.

Well, even though I'm no political pundit, I'll give you my two cents worth on President Bush's nomination of Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court.

I'll start off by saying that she wouldn't have been my first pick. Since the first I ever heard of her was when her name became the headline in the paper, that's not too surprising. I'd probably have leaned more towards someone I had some sort of name recognition for. But since, as I said before I'm no political pundit, there weren't a lot of names that I was familiar with. Maybe Janice Rogers Brown, or that Alito guy. People who's names I've seen on some of the more political blogs. (I wouldn't have minded seeing Ann Coulter nominated either, just to watch the Left have a collective aneurysm.)

Yeah, I've got a lot of weight behind my decisions...

I guess it boils down to the fact that I wasn't elected President of the United States, so I really don't get to pick any Supreme Court Justices. And just because I voted for the guy who is President doesn't mean he has to do everything exactly the way I want. If that was the case, I would be President.

But President Bush better watch out, if he gets too many people mad at him, he'll never get re-elected in 2008.

Listening to the political junkies out there, one almost gets the feeling that they think that the President is making his Supreme Court picks by placing an ad with e-Harmony, that internet marriage broker.

Married White President, seeks Judicial nominee. Should be someone I already know very well. A minority or woman a plus, but not necessary. Only serious inquiries please. No political baggage please. - GWB

On the other, more serious hand, the President is known for being the kind of person who likes to have the best possible people around him. If that is the case, then cronyism or not, the people nearest to him may be way up on his list of choices because of their existing competence. For all of former FEMA director Michael Brown's problems with the media and looking like a crony pick of the President, he did do a very admiral job on three or four hurricane relief jobs before New Orleans. And even then, his biggest mistake was looking stupid on TV.

Anyways, that's my two cents on the whole matter. You can keep the change.

A bad joke

A Mugging.

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a
gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the
turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the
detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know,
it all happened so fast."

I hate being a Bills fan.

(nuff said)