Very long day at work.
Many achy joints.
Very sore feet.
Dinner stayed down, though.
I'll take whatever I can get.
We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. - The Preamble to the Constitution of the United States Of America
We got lucky. That is what our founding father’s came up with. Let us pray that the Iraqis have had as much fortune in choosing their founding fathers as we had in who ours were.
So I won't be posting anything today.
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D'oh!
Just spent a little time on my knees at the porcelain throne.
And while I feel much better now, I do have a couple of thoughts.
One. I hope that this was the result of something I ate, and not the beginning of the flu.
Two. I really need to chew my food better.
* That’s just an approximation of the sound. Sometimes the written word is inadequate.
That is all. (At least I reeeeaaaaalllly hope so.) :-P
The newest rumor running around the Blogsphere is that Evil Glenn has perfected a weather machine. The question then arises; what will Evil Glenn use a weather machine for?
I think that in light of recent weather patterns, the real question should be; how has Evil Glenn been using the weather machine? The recent series of winter storms that slammed the East can be explained by this phone conversation between Evil Glenn and his Insta-Wife that I *cough* happened to find…
FBI Wiretap: #750278932-94621Evil Glenn: Hello?
Insta-Wife: Hi, Honey.
Evil Glenn: I thought I asked you to not call me at work. It makes me look bad in front of the other lawyers.
Insta-Wife: Evil blood sucking fiends.
Evil Glenn: Whatever.
Insta-Wife: Well, it’s important!
E G: *Sigh* What do you need?
I-W: I’ve been working on the plans for our family vacation. And I wanted to go skiing, so I need your help picking out a ski resort.
E G: Awww. I can’t go skiing. All of the resorts are way up in the North, and I can’t stay away from my computer that long.
I-W: What about using your laptop?
E G: It doesn’t work right ever since that drunken money-freak came over to the castle last week and threw up on it. Now it smells like beer soaked cheese.
I-W: Well I want to go skiing!
E G: How about if we do something closer to home?
I-W: Skiing!
E G: There’s a new bowling alley opening up…
I-W: SKIING!!!!
E G: Ok, ok. What if we could ski near home? Would that be all right?
I-W: I guess so… but it never snows near us.
E G: Let me get back to you. I think I have something here in the office that might work…
There you have it! All of the recent winter storms and snowfall across the South-East are the result of Evil Glenn’s work! Just so he can go skiing and not have to leave his precious computer.
To the morons who claim that the Holocaust never happened,
WE WILL NEVER FORGET.
On the anniversary of the liberation of Auswitz, we need to remind ourselves and everyone else that we can not let this happen again.
We need to also remember that the nation that did this was changed for the better. Whatever they are now, (weather they hate the U.S. or not,) they are no longer the committers of mass murder. For that, our country can be proud.
Sorry if this seemed to be incoherent. Some things are hard to put into words.
The question was raised, what can be done to fix the Democratic Party?
I believe that the traditional method is the best. Simply take the Democratic Party to the vet, leave it there overnight, and it will be fixed by the next day.
The Democratic Party may require a little recovery time. But it will be up and running around in just a few days. And now, it won’t be having accidents all over the furniture. Plus, there is the added benefit of not having to deal with any little Democratic Parties in the future.
Many studies have also shown that this procedure will also modify certain behaviors of the Democratic Party; such as yelping at people just doing their jobs, (police, utility workers, the military, etc.) and the constant fighting over pecking order. The procedure is also shown to calm certain types of individuals, cutting down on the annoyance of the Democratic Party’s constant clamoring for attention.
One word of warning. In some cases, following the procedure, a subject may experience discomfort at the site of the surgery. This can lead to chewing that can cause secondary infections. To prevent this, it is sometimes advisable to place a motion restriction collar on the subject. But remember, while wearing such a collar may look comical to you; try not to laugh directly at the Democratic Party. It has been known to savagely attack anyone it perceives as an enemy.
I just realized that I never put Castle Argghhh! on my blogroll. That has now been corrected.
That should help the Castle keep it's standing as a Mortal Human.
Over at Castle Argghhh!. Well, actually, the caption part of the contest is over. But the voting has just begun!
Stop on in and vote for your favorite caption. But only once! This isn't the DU. (Yeah, I stole that statement from John.)
The rest of the site is a good read too.
This morning, my family suffered another, albeit much lesser, loss. Yet, the pain is almost as deeply felt. My father’s dog, Nisa, passed away. She had been sick a few times this winter, and was apparently too old to fight off her latest illness.
She was a well-loved pet for 14 years.
I just wanted to let you know why I’m not funny today. Maybe tomorrow.
Last Friday, a little after noon, Brian Haima, my uncle’s brother-in-law, went home to be with the Lord. The funeral service was this morning outside of Syracuse. He is survived by a wife and two sons, as well as his parents and siblings.
I didn’t know him personally, but from what I’ve learned about him, I can say that he was a good and Godly man. He and his wife founded Real Teens, Inc., a youth ministry that has traveled across the country helping teens.
His life was designated to the Lord, and after a bout with cancer, he was called home. He was surrounded by his family right to the end.
I wanted to dedicate this song to Brian. A man whose work here was finished, and who has gone on to a greater place.
Go Rest High On That Mountain – Vince GillI know your life on earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren't afraid to face the devil
You were no stranger to the rainGo rest high on that mountain
Son your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Love for the Father and the SonOh, how we cried the day you left us
We gathered round your grave to grieve
Wish I could see the angels' faces
When they hear your sweet voice singGo rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Love for the Father and the Son.Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Love for the Father and the Son.
Don’t pray for Brian. His work and life were fulfilled. We are all confident that he is with the Lord today. But please pray for his family. Their loss is deep-felt and any support is helpful.
I don't feel like posting today. But you might see me around in other's comment sections.
Yep. I ordered Chinese food for lunch today. And you know what that means!
TODAY'S MOMENT OF ZEN
It was a double fortune cookie meal (I guess that he didn't count when he put them in the bag) so here they are:
You'll never know what you can do until you try.
Lucky Numbers 27, 28, 32, 34, 38, 43
Your path is arduous but will be amply rewarding.
Lucky Numbers 7, 10, 14, 24, 28, 35
Oh, and the backs had Learn Chinses lessons.
July: Qi-yue
Friend: Peng-you
(I don't know what a peng is. But if someone does it to you, then they must be a friend, I guess.)
(That is all)
Why does the snow fall?
It's because of gravity.
Oh, sorry I asked.
Man it was cold out last night. When I left work (around 11) the thermometer read -3 deg F. This morning it's warmed upt all the way to 1 deg F.
Heat Wave!
Of course, now we have a winter storm on it's way in...
Do it right the frist first time!
Doh!
At last! I’ve done it. I worked all week trying to find out what Evil Glenn was planning on stealing. And now, I finally have all of the clues.
It took hours of careful preparation and planning, a daring raid into Evil Glenn’s Fortress of Evil, and a not inconsiderable bribe to the custodian at the Library of Congress. But now I have all of the information that I need to predict what dastardly theft Evil Glenn is plotting.
Once I enter all of the clues into my state of the art, Batman style, Crime Computer, I have to merely wait and a printout will appear with all of Evil Glenn’s plans.
Hmm. The display is saying that this should take about half an hour. Just enough time to pop down to the store for some victory snacks!
*45 minutes later*
Well, I’m back. Let’s see what the Crime Computer has for…
It’s gone! My whole crime lab. All of my research. Everything. It’s all gone.
Wait. There’s a single sheet of paper where the computer was sitting.
Crime AnalysisSubject: Glenn Reynolds (AKA: Evil Glenn, The Puppyblender, The Dark Overlord of the Blogsphere, Filthy-no-good-slimy-excuse-for-a *ahem* Lawyer)
Prediction: Glenn Reynolds will break into your house and steal your Crime Lab while you are at the store this afternoon.
…
OK. That. Was. Odd.
*Shudder* That means that Evil Glenn was right here. In my house.
That’s all for now folks.
Please excuse me while I do a little disinfecting around the place… now where did I put that flamethrower?
Tripping on the "Warning - Slippery Surface" sign and falling down.
Has anyone else seen the advertising by H&R Block with their Double Your Refund promotion?
The only question I have, is if you owe the government money, and you win the Double Your Refund... do you owe the government twice as much?
It would only be fair, wouldn't it?
Well, CBS finally finished their investigation of the Rathergate Memos. Somehow, they came to the conclusion that there was no intentional media bias on the part of CBS in airing the forged documents. It turns out they were only guilty of trying to be the first ones to report a story (that had been reported 4 or 5 times already) and used material that they had not spent enough time checking out.
The conclusion that the rest of the world (meaning all of us bloggers) is that; if Memogate doesn’t indicate media bias, what would?
How about if Rather had ended each segment of 60 minutes with “Vote for Kerry” each night? Or would that just be interpreted as just an attempt to get more people involved in the democratic process?
Maybe if the papers ran a headline saying “BUSH IS EVIL” it would be showing media bias? Probably not. They would be able to get out of an investigation by saying that the headline was a misinterpretation of a story on poisonous plant life. And even if, after carefully reading the articles, the critics say that it is a news article about the President, the media leaders will probably fall back and fire some assistant editor, claiming it was all some underlings fault.
The only way that I can see anybody in the Legacy Media admitting to the liberal bias is if Kerry had won the Presidency, and the Democrats had swept all of the races in both the House and Senate, they would be breaking their arms patting themselves on the back. And you know that they wouldn’t waste a second reminding the new President that they put him in the office and that he owed them.
So as far as I can tell, the only time the Legacy Media would admit to a bias, would be too late for the rest of us to do anything about it.
Well, I’ve rambled enough for the day.
(That is all)
Now I know what the first thing I'll buy if I win the lottery!
One of THESE!!
The Jeep Hurricane is the ultimate extention of the Jeep concept. This puppy can go anywhere!
And it has a ZERO turn radius. (Realplayer video)
(Super Hat Tip to Harvey!)
Update: My Dad just mentioned that it looked an awful lot like the Warthog from Halo. You know what? I think he's right. Probably a few Halo gamers on the development crew for the Hurricane.
Update 2: I didn't win the lottery last night, so no Hurricane in my immediate future.
Harvey over at Bad Example had a little post the other day about how much he hates it when his customers make the same old inane "Cold enough for you?" comments to him. And today, as the mercury barely crawled up to 5 deg F and people wanted us to wash their cars, I got a few of those comments myself.
My favorite of the day was a lady who said to me, as I was drying her car by hand in the bitter cold, "You must be crazy to be out here in this cold."
I was able to restrain the impulse to strangle or use the 'fist of death' on her and, somewhat civily to my surprise, merely said "Well, I have to be here because we have customers."
Instead of the preferred, "Well, as long people are crazy enough to wash their cars, I'll be stuck out here."
/rant
(That is all)
I was just playing Merceneries: Playground of Destruction before work this morning, and just as I completed the first level (by capturing the Ace of Clubs) the Xbox froze up. I waited several minutes for the program to continue. But it never did.
When I rebooted the Xbox, all of my progress had been lost, and I was back to where I was before starting the mission. A mission which had taken me over half an hour to do.
(A little asside: I did this mission with style! There is nothing that says panache to me like stealing a T-56 tank and using it to blow everything up! But they are so hard to steal in the first place...)
Now the question is, what to do? And since I recently discovered the joys of polls:
And, no. I don't know why the big space appears above the poll.
"Did you know 'embargo' backwards is 'O grab me?'" - Ryan Stiles
This is why I don't eat salads.
Unless it is Parmesan Peppercorn dressing. In which case, I'll take my chances.
Just found this one on a newsgroup, and thought I'd share.
An Anti-Liberal JokeA man was stuck in grindingly slow traffic on his way to work one
morning. After moving about twenty feet in ten minutes, he saw a man
walking between the cars. He rolled his window down and asked the man
what was going on."There's a liberal up there that's still upset about the presidential
election and he's chained himself to a light pole," the man said. "He
says he doesn't have the money to move to Canada and he's threatening
to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire, so I'm taking up
a collection for him.""What have you got so far?" the driver asked.
"I've got a gallon of gas and three Bic lighters."
(That is all)
Harvey, over at the Alliance of Free Bloggers, has posed an interesting question: Should Evil Glenn be the United States’ Attorney General, and why or why not?
After a great deal of soul searching (mine, not Glenn’s, for the simple fact that it’s not there) I must say that I have to say no.
I just cannot see asking someone to be one of the protectors of America’s Laws when that person does not obey all of the laws of nature.
Besides, Evil Glenn would never be able to handle the loss of influence that would occur when he left the blogsphere. Attorney General is a powerful position, but it is nothing compared to being the Dark Overlord of the Blogsphere.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
(That is all)
Is it just me, or does the guy in this Cox&Forcum cartoon look a lot like a hippy?
Harvey left the door unlocked again.
Comment Party at the sign of the BadExample!
Oh no! We had a record high temperature in Buffalo for today! Global Warming!
Severe rain forecast tonight with FLOODING! Global Warming!
The temperature is going to drop 30(deg) over a two-hour period! Global Warming!
Temperatures below freezing for the next week! Global Warming!
Weather at normal winter temperatures for the month of January! Global Warming!
A Duck! Global Warming!
Eh, maybe I got a little off topic there…
If you ever get the chance, I strongly recommend listening to Sean Hannity’s radio program (3PM-6PM) on WABC Radio. If you none of your local radio stations are affiliated with them (like mine aren’t) you can listen to streaming audio here.
Every Thursday, Sean has one of his associates, Flipper, go down and interview New Yorkers as a “Man on the Street” segment. I unabashedly stole the tagline for the segment to use as the title for this post. “God Help Us All.”
Today, for whatever reason, Flipper was interviewing a group of drama students. One, when asked if she knew what a tsunami was, thought that it was some famous actor. Really.
But the showstopper was a young man who was asked if he knew the name of the Vice-President. He didn’t, but answered, “I know that this coming November, I’m voting for the Vice-President who’s running against Bush too.”
Hannity had to end the segment there for a commercial break, but I think he just didn’t have the heart to tell the kid that the election was last November.
It took me five minutes to stop laughing.
The call went out across the blogsphere! Find out what the “generous” people gave to the tsunami relief.
After some serious digging, (and some not so serious creativity) I was able to compile a list of what was given:
(Note: actual donations may have no relationship to that which is reported here.)
France:
Donated a one year supply of the entire nation’s personal hygiene products. (What Indonesia is going to do with two bars of soap, a single stick of underarm deodorant and a toilet brush is up to them.)
Also donated a two month supply of cheese. (Most survivors are using this as a mortar base for reconstruction purposes. One unfortunate person actually tried to eat it an had to be med-evacted to a nearby aircraft carrier.
Norway
One town of 500 donated their entire year’s take-home pay. (The approximately $42 was used to rescue 3 trapped sea turtles.)
Cuba
Donated 140 Cubans to help set up a new Indonesian Baseball League. (1300 other Cubans were found to be stowed away in their sports equipment.)
China
Didn’t invade or fire any nuclear missiles. (About the best you could hope for, really.)
Hollywood
Dug really deep and sent over what mattered most to all of the actors and actresses. (Unfortunately, the per capita amount of photographers is now well over 10 per person in India.)
Michael Moore
Donated the hair from the scruffy beard he recently shaved off. (It may have looked scraggly, but once you factor in the square footage of face that it had to cover, you find that there is easily enough material to thatch several small huts.)
Barbra Streisand
Donated… well nothing that I could find. But I didn’t look very hard. Ooh, I just found it. She donated the missing “a” from her first name. (I always wondered where that went.)
Well, I couldn’t find any more donations from “generous” people. Unless you want to count the hundreds of millions of dollars donated by all of the rest of America.
That is all.
This morning, while getting ready for work, I was listening to the radio.
And right after hearing the weather report, which was forcasting unseasonable and near record highs for the next two days, I heard a comercial for a window manufacturer who was talking about how this was supposed to be the coldest winter in decades, and that I should get their windows to help cut down on my heating costs.
Now if they were talking about cutting down on my air-conditioning costs, I might not have laughed so hard...
They really should have moved the radio spot to much later in the week, when an arctic cold front is supposed to put us into a deep freeze. I think that the ad's sentiments would be much better received then.
That is all.
Because it's there.
Usually.
If I have time.
When I feel like it.
And have internet access.
I read somewhere, that the intelligence level of any group or mob, can often be characterized as being the I.Q. of the dumbest, divided by the number of people.
And yet, you still have to deal with them on a one on one basis.
In the immortal words of Charlie Brown: "Augggggghhhhhhh!"
/rant
That is all.
Yeah, I'm still around. Just haven't felt like posting anything lately.
Actually. I picked up a few books from a favorite author, and have spent most of my free time buried in them. Sorry.
Regular (comparatively speaking) posting should soon commence.
That is all.
I've found evidence of where Harvey was during his (uncharactaristic for him) recent blogging dry spell.
It looks like he celebrated the New Year over in Europe.
At first I thought it was Blackfive. The blood alcohol content suggested that. But the description of the man as looking really old, meant that it had to be a totally sloshed Harvey.